Here at the End
by Elfpen
Summary: Some say that endings are really just new beginnings, but our beginning would be nothing if we weren't both here to see it. Because perhaps I've made a mistake, or maybe I've just forgotten, but it was always meant to be you and I, ruling beyond the end of our age. Post-finale fic. NON-SLASH
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Alright, I'm in full on active denial about the Merlin finale, because let's just be honest with ourselves, that was _lazy_. Like. So lazy. The reveal should have been spread out over several episodes, not one, Gwen figuring out that Merlin is a sorcerer is a big deal that should have been bigger. No one besides the royals actually find out about him. No laws are changed. Merlin never returns to Camelot.

And the _one_ time BBC ever decides to stick to the original legends, it's to kill of Arthur. _Really? _What happened to the side-by-side ruling Albion that we were told about all this time? How can you hurt Merlin like that _even more_ and then saddle him with immortality as the icing on the cake? And if you're going to pull the immortal Merlin in modern day card, could you at least give a _hint_of a reunion with Arthur? Please?

This episode gave absolutely no resolution for anything, save the reveal itself.

The reveal itself was pretty well done, I'll admit. But the finale as a whole was heartbreaking and disappointing. Headcanon most definitely _not_ accepted, BBC.

Now of course, I have to try to fix it.

* * *

There were tears all over his face, and the only thing he could do was scream. He'd ripped out his heart for this, he'd ripped out his sanity, his dignity, his _self_, and there was nothing for it anymore. Arthur was dead. He'd learned about Merlin's magic, he'd won against Morgana, he'd thanked Merlin, and then he'd died and left him alone. His life was supposed to be beginning – and now, it was cut short in the form of his best friend, dead in his arms. And so, Merlin screamed. He screamed in anger, in pain, in grief. It was thicket of emotions he'd never known, a ruthless fist that reached in and drug out a wordless anguish that reduced him to screaming and tears, the only intelligible thought in his head centered around the absence of company, the stillness of the heart beside him.

Just as his tongue started to form the words to call Kilgarrah, he woke up.

He was in his room, and he realized quickly that he _had_ been screaming, and crying. He swiped at his eyes and tried to remember what had happened, when found that he couldn't. _"I'll have your favorite meal waiting for you_," he remembered Gaius saying. Had that happened? Had Gaius made him dinner? He couldn't remember. He didn't remember arriving home after sending Arthur off to Avalon. The thought brought more tears to the surface, and he had to take a moaning breath to steady himself. But here he was, in his room – surely he'd arrived back home at some point. Had he been that traumatized, when he returned, that now he couldn't remember anything after? But, what about…

_Gwen_, he thought suddenly.

She didn't know. He hadn't told her. He'd been too distraught. She deserved to know. Hands shaking, Merlin threw back his covers and went to his door.

"Merlin?" Gaius called, and looked surprised when Merlin opened his door. The physician was in his night robe and holding a candle that illuminated the concerned expression on his face. "Are you alright? I heard noises…" but Merlin didn't heed his questions, and sped past to the front door. Gaius called after him, but his ward was running fast.

He barely had to think about where he was going before he found himself at the royal chambers. He didn't knock – he'd never learned to. He barged in and was surprised and almost hurt to see Gwen sitting there, awake. Had she somehow known?

"Gwen," he said, breathing hard. She looked up and almost smiled, but looked suddenly very concerned.

"Merlin," She stood, "is something-"

"Gwen, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,"

"Merlin, what are you talking about?" She asked him, coming near.

"I tried, I tried so hard, I couldn't… I couldn't save-"

"Shh, Merlin," she put a hand on his arm, the other petting his shoulder comfortingly. "Come out and tell me what's happened – just don't be too loud in here, you'll wake him." She said softly.

"Wake him?" he asked, face frozen.

"Arthur," She told him. "Now come on, out here and-"

But he wrested himself from her grip and flew toward the curtained-off side of the chambers that hid their bed. He flung the curtains aside and went around to the bed.

There, asleep but most definitely, _definitely_ alive, was Arthur Pendragon.

Merlin had to catch himself on one of the four posts of the bedframe. His chest caved into what were sure to be more sobs. Gwen came up behind him just as he put a hand up to his mouth to stifle any noise.

"Merlin?" She asked tentatively.

"He's alive," Merlin breathed, reaching out to the sleeping figure but not touching it, almost afraid that he would disappear.

"Yes, Merlin. You saved him. …Don't you remember?"

Merlin's answer was to suddenly burst into tears. He began shaking his head as Gwen rushed forward and grabbed him, and somehow navigated him out into the hallway where she dismissed the guards and left the two alone. Before saying anything else, she took him into her arms, letting him bend his taller head against her shoulder and weep. Distantly, Merlin thought that Gwen would make a wonderful mother, and wondered then if she and Arthur would ever have children. He wept harder when he realized that they _could_, because Arthur was somehow alive.

She rubbed circles on his back and waited for him to calm down. She wouldn't let him see the concern on her face. When she had seen him burst into their rooms, the first thing Gwen noticed was his face, tired, tear-stained, afraid, and so very very _sad_. She didn't understand what was going on, but from what she could tell, Merlin must have been under the impression that Arthur had died. She felt tears in her eyes. She could hardly think of it herself – she couldn't imagine how it was for Merlin, who was supposed to be in charge of Arthur this whole time.

Eventually, his tears slowed down and she pulled away. "Merlin," she asked, pulling out a handkerchief and putting it to his eyes, and handing it to him. "Merlin, what on earth is the matter – why would you be surprised that Arthur is alive? You were there with him, the whole time."

"I-I don't…" Merlin sniffed and blew his nose, "I don't remember. I don't remember coming… back. I just… Arthur, on our way to Avalon, to save him, he… collapsed. On the bank. I couldn't save him. Couldn't save him… I couldn't, he… _dead_."

"No," Gwen shook her head, "no, Merlin, not at all. You _saved_ him. You told us all he was unconscious by the time you got to Avalon, but he was alive – oh, Merlin, you don't _remember_. He's fine. Arthur is _fine_. Sleeping, a bit weak, but he will be fine. Thanks to you."

Merlin blinked at her, and then suddenly his face twisted toward tears once again, and his head was back in Gwen's arms.

"He's alive," he thought he'd said it in his mind, but it must have been out loud, because Gwen hugged his head closer and gave a bittersweet laugh. "I came to tell you that he wasn't," he told her through tears, "and now… he's…" He started crying again. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried like this, to the point where he couldn't stop himself. Even when his own father had died, he'd had to keep his reaction under control because of what Arthur might do. But now, here, at the end of it all, there were no more secrets to keep, and he no longer had the strength to act.

He heard footsteps, but didn't realize what was going on when a concerned Gaius turned the corner to see them. He didn't hear Gwen and Gaius speaking about him in concerned but loving tones, nor did he feel it when Gaius coaxed him back to the physicians chambers and put him in his bed. But some part of his subconscious, deep in his brain, must have heard the soft "sleep easy, Merlin. You've both done it, at long last."

* * *

A/N: This will most definitely be a multi-chapter fic, because there are a hundred and one loose ends to tie up about this messy finale, but they will probably be short chapters, and not entirely strung together where plot is concerned. But who knows? Perhaps it will evolve into something more.


	2. Chapter 2

He felt weird. He wasn't sure why he felt weird, but everything, from his bedsheets to the window frame to the bandages around his middle just looked _weird_.

Wait, _bandages?_

Arthur was shirtless, but he couldn't see his own stomach because it'd been hidden behind layers of linen. With some trepidation, he saw a dark blotch on one side which, when he tried to get a better look, became self explanatory; the pain shooting up from his side to his chest was real enough on its own. He groaned and fell back on his bed, blinking his eyes with a little extra effort that he hoped would clear away the sleep and confusion. He must have made a louder fuss about it than he'd thought, because when he opened his eyes again, a blurry purple blob made its way into the room, and eventually, once his eyes decided to focus, he recognized it.

"Gwen?" He said, not sure why he felt so surprised and relieved, but unable to stop himself.

"Arthur," she breathed, and that huge, wonderful smile lit up her face as she darted to his side. "You're awake." She spoke softly, but it was obvious she was excited.

He looked around himself. "Well," He said, clearing the sleep out of his voice, "I think so, yes."

And all at once, his wife was crying and had her arms wrapped around him. He couldn't exactly move, so he lay limp against his pillows and held her gently while she cried into his neck. Arthur hadn't ever before fantasized about having beautiful women cry over him whilst in bed, but at that moment, injury and all, he couldn't find reason to complain.

He only wished he remembered _why_ she should be crying, and why he had a massive hole in his side. Gwen came to his rescue, even though her tears.

"Oh, Arthur, we were worried, _I _was so worried, we- Gaius said that you wouldn't make it, when he last saw you, he said that… When he gave me your seal, I wasn't sure _what_ to think, Geoffrey was even beginning to pull together a… a ceremony,"

Where she couldn't see him, Arthur had begun to frown. The tangents of a memory flitted at the edge of his mind. Screaming. Bad, somehow. Horrible. War? A battle. Death. Running. _Morgana_. They came back to him slowly, in pieces. Mordred, a fight… Hadn't he been…. _Dying?_ And there was something else, too, something rather important…

Gwen's sudden laugh broke through his thoughts. "And then Merlin came back, he brought you back, draped over his shoulder. Oh, Arthur, you have no idea just how much-"

"Wait. Merlin," Arthur suddenly found his voice as the memories washed over him like cold water. "Merlin. Mer-_Merlin_. Merlin!" He grabbed his wife's hands and looked at her with alarm and urgency. "Gwen, there's something important, I- I found out, after the- Camlann, it's Merlin, the whole time, he _won_ it, beat them, Gwen, he's a-"

"Sorcerer," She finished for him.

He blinked at her.

"You knew."

"No," She said speaking quietly, "But it didn't take long to figure out, after the sorcerer at Camlann… How Gaius reacted, how he let Merlin go off alone with you, take care of you…" She paused, trying to gauge his reaction. She ended up smiling. "And here you are, safe and sound. Because of him – his _magic_."

"Yes," Arthur said, and suddenly laughed. "Yes, I suppose I am. Irony of ironies."

"Not from what I hear," Gwen had composed herself, and wiped away the last of her tears as she settled into a seat on his bedside. "Something about destiny, a _Once and Future King_. Not sure I quite understood it."

"You're not the only one." He admitted. "Where is he, Merlin?"

"Asleep, at the moment."

Arthur frowned. _But it's midday,_ he thought, glancing at the sunny window. "He's hurt?" Arthur concluded, trying to sit up.

"No, no," She pushed him back down. "_you_ sustained enough injuries for the both of you. No, Merlin's just been very tired ever since he came back. Understandable, after all he's been through. The battle over, his secret it out, Morgana, dead…" She trailed off.

Arthur was shaking his head. "I didn't know he'd have it him," He said softly, "to kill her."

"I didn't think he wanted to, Arthur,"

"That's just it, he didn't _want_ to. Neither did I. But he did it anyway. To protect me." Arthur frowned, remembering. "He looked sad afterward." They both paused for a moment, but eventually Gwen said,

"Not as sad as he did last night, I'd bet,"

"What?" Arthur looked up at her, puzzled. She sighed.

"I say he was… tired, Arthur. I think 'exhausted' might be a better way to put it, and I don't mean just physically. Emotionally, mentally, even _magically_, according to Gaius… Merlin practically collapsed after he'd gotten you home. When he woke up, he didn't remember what had happened. He barged in here last night, sure for all the world that you were dead." She couldn't meet her husband's eyes. "By his own word, he'd come up here to tell me that you were dead, and that it was somehow his fault."

Arthur looked hurt, and just slightly angry. "His _fault_? Of all the… Surely you corrected him?"

"Of course," Gwen said, "You were asleep, but he saw you, and…" She sighed. "I'm not sure what was going through his mind, Arthur, but… He just broke down crying. I've never seen him so relieved, or shaken."

Arthur wasn't sure what he should say to that. There was a time when he'd have a scoff and a handful of overused insults ready to quell Merlin's emotional outbreaks, but this was different. The truth was out. The battle was won. Merlin had saved him. Arthur had thanked him. They'd finally seen each other without any pretenses, without the shields of insults, without the masks of prince and fool. And Arthur already felt that he was different for it. His mouth must have been different, too, because it wasn't working the way it used to. Gwen sensed the change in his demeanor, and her smile was small and somewhat sad.

"You need rest, Arthur," She told him, brushing the hair on his forehead. The sensation began lulling him to sleep straightaway, just as she knew it would. He closed his eyes and let her continue to brush his hair.

"You'll tell me when Merlin wakes up?" He slurred. She chuckled.

"Of course. Or the other way 'round."

"Good. Idiot thinks he's killed me… obviously needs a talking to."

"And a listening to, I'd wager." Gwen added for him, voice altogether serious. Arthur grunted his agreement. Listening to, indeed. Merlin still had a hell of a lot to explain about this 'magic' fiasco. Accepted or not, idiot or not, destiny and Saxons, best friends and 'thank you's aside, Merlin still had a lot to explain. Arthur sighed contentedly. But they had time to deal with that later, when they were both awake.

The couple sat together in silence for a while as Arthur drifted further into sleep, and Gwen continued to brush her fingers through his hair. Just before he was well and truly out, a memory of a conversation came to Arthur's mind, and he felt the need to inform his wife:

"He cheated, you know."

Gwen frowned down at her husband, confused. "What?" She asked quietly, aware that he was probably only a hairsbreadth away from the land of dreams.

"Cheated. Magic…" His mouth drooped more each time he spoke. "…clotpole," He tacked on at last.

Guinevere laughed, and was surprised to feel tears in her eyes.

Safe and sound, insulting like always, ready to listen to each other and cry for each other. The king and the sorcerer.

Her boys.

She rose quietly, darkened the room, and left her husband to his rest.

* * *

A/N: This chapter was meant to be longer, but then I got here and thought I could wrap it up for now. For those who are interested, I'm in the beginning stages of developing a more serious plotline for this story. Oh, also: look out for Gwaine next chapter!


End file.
